activate past transitions
Today, I turn forty-six. “What’s a birthday, anyway? Another random and meaningless cultural construction. Just another day. Nothing special.” But I know enough about the mind to know that when I’m stuck in my head I’m trying to avoid something in my heart. So I drop down.
First, gratitude: To my Creator! How painful it is to lose something, losing out on time is something which I may not realize and it would not be soon I would be standing in front You with head bowed down and it would be too late to realize the precious time I wasted in my life. If only time can be changed and replaceable, I would be certainly happy right now but unfortunately, I don’t have any powers to do that. I just rest my fate in you my Creator. I believe in You and I’ve been praying that I’ll have the answers for all my questions and struggles. I know before writing this, that you already know what I’m about to say. I know you knew what I was doing and I have always been protected by You when I was in danger and You helped me when I was down. You put the talent, patience and led me towards a life which I, my family and friends are proud off. I need you! Thanks for giving me everything including the hardships which made me stronger. I know you have wise and healthier plans please make them in favor of every human across the globe.
My Parents, who created the foundation on which I’ve built my connections, rich, challenging and passionate life. It’s these moments that I feel blessed to have a got a great confident platform from where I can deliver the best to the world.
Next, grief: I miss my childhood. I miss my intact family. I think about the birthdays of my childhood, how excited I felt to wake up on Feb 13 and know that this day just for me. Transitions and milestones activate past transitions, and today my childhood filters up through my heart map. I miss my childhood friends, I miss the spots on railway lines where we sat every day, talking about movies, cricket, politics, friends, and miss those short cricket matches, practices and early morning tennis ball matches we played though we had test and exams to be written the next day.
Then, acceptance. Do I grieve the passage of time today, I don’t feel like doing it now. I stared at my face in the mirror for several minutes today, and what I noticed was the way time and experience have etched themselves across my skin, in my eyes, through my hair. The shimmering silver sings of the wisdom that can only grow from walking through adulthood and getting closer to half century holding the light of consciousness as the beacon that guides the way. The silver colored hair on my beard tells the story of my struggles of my life, pushing through the agony so that I could embrace the age ahead which my kids call “Budda” Next I observe the age-lines: the faint arch above my chin that tells the story of my fearless relationship to feeling the pain of life; the creases on my forehead that declare a face fully alive to the trepidation, the mystery, the frustration, and the delightful moments of surprise. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been committed to overturning my anger into more positive spiritual benefits for self and people around.
So lastly, a big “Thank you” with love to all my well-wishers and my beloved students for your wishes. Friends, Thanks for holding me. Thank you for being in this journey of life with me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for inspiring me to claim my birthday this year. I am so grateful. God Bless Us All!